the clerk, austin (yes, i read his name tag), asked us if we need help finding something.
me: yea. where's your clearance rack?
austin: its right over here (he walked us to the rack). it's really small.
me: yea that's super small.
austin: yea & its not all on sale. only tags with markings or stickers on them are on sale.
me: well, there's a red dot on your name tag. are you on sale?
(at this point nicole started giggling & ran across the store)
austin: well yea! (as he stretched out his arms & showcased himself)
& then he awkwardly walked away & i went in search of nicole.
i'm as surprised as you are that those words came out of my mouth. it was just the perfect opportunity & the door had been opened so i just ran in. he was cute...i just had to take it there. i'm not even sure that it was something that i thought about really, it just happened.
let's think about this for a minute. i asked the guy if he was on sale & he very enthusiastically said yes. this could just be him being a good salesman, or he could've totally been thinking:
she's cute & she just ran that awesome pick up line. i'd hang with her.
but did i ask him for his phone number? did i give him mine? no. no i did not.
the stephanie of years ago would've asked for his number. she would've written her number on a receipt & given it to him; that's what the younger version of me would've done. it's the 21st century & men shouldn't have to do all the work. there's a part of me that really believes that this is true.
but i'm so tired of doing it. if a guy wants me, he'll come get me. i've been pursued - i've told a guy no & had him call me until i said yes. i've had a guy convince me to give him 1 date. i've been there...its a nice place to be.
my life is amazing right now. i couldn't be happier & i don't know if i've ever been in this place. i'm completely content with evey aspect of my life & when people i know get engaged or married i'm genuinely happy for them. for the first time, the first thought in my head isn't "geez. when is it my turn?!" i actually find myself being so happy for them & jumping up & down for them. it's a really nice place to be. as it is, my life is fulfilling & happy. if i meet someone...great! if i don't...that's cool too. for the first time, i'm fine either way. i'm not going to count on a man to give me purpose or make me happy - i can do that for myself.