i swear, sometimes you must look at me & think to yourself
" of all the people in all the world i ended up with this crazy ass woman. why? what have i done to deserve this?"
that's the look you give me anyway. i'll never really know if its actually what you're thinking, but after this last year and a half with you i'm pretty sure i've got it right.
i adopted you from the no-kill shelter where your previous owners left you. you were a little more than 5 years old & you could've cared less about me. i saw you online & knew i had to meet you; your big pug eyes just gripped my heart. when the volunteer brought you to meet me, you didn't even look at me, but i loved you instantly.
for the first month, you threw up everywhere when i left you home alone. you hated being alone. for the first 6 months if i tried to step over you, you would jump and run away, like you were scared i was going to step on you. the first time you saw me cry you walked by without acknowledging me. it took you almost a year before you cared if i was crying. now you'll at least lick my hand if i shed a tear.
our first year was also spent figuring out what you couldn't eat. i fed you a tiny piece of cheese & we ended up at the emergency vet & you had to have intravenous fluids, prescription dog food &
prescription meds. we found out that you can't have pretty much all people food. you're allergic to most meats & grass. you lick your paws religiously because i refuse to wipe them with baby wipes when you come in from outside. you have acid reflux disease and you'll throw up at the drop of a hat. sometimes it seems like you throw up more than a toddler; its often down the back of the couch, on the pillow, in the floor. i dread the day that i wake up with vomit at my feet.
our time together hasn't been perfect. there were many times that i wondered if i made the right decision, especially when a visit to the vet cost more than half of my bi-weekly salary. i may have thought about giving you back for a split second...but thats all it was: a split second. truth be told, i'm completely lost without you.
you've taught me patience; something i've never had before. you've shown me that i'll probably actually be a really good parent someday. you see the best in me, even when i can't see the best in myself. to you i hung the moon & crafted the stars. to you i can do no wrong.
i hope you know that you are the best decision i ever made; the most rewarding $300 i ever spent. i can't imagine my life without you. you are my little buddy.
i'll always tell you that i love you 20 times a day & i'll always say it at the most random times. i will continue to randomly wake you up in the middle of the night for a hug or a few cuddles & you can keep grumbling at me about it. you are always going to lay in my spot when i'm trying to get into bed & i will always ask you to move. you are always cutest first thing in the morning & on saturday afternoons when you lay in the sun.
we gotta stick together, me & you. we're both a little broken, more damaged than most & we understand each other. we're the most unlikely pair - like socks that don't match but go together just the same.
i promise to open the blinds every saturday so you can sunbathe.
i promise to always be there & never give up.
i promise you the best veterinary care i can find.
i'll always come back for you.
you'll always be my howard.
i know that someday you'll have to go see jesus & when that day comes, my heart will shatter. i'll be a mess. i grew up with dogs, but you're the first one i've picked for myself. you took a chance on me & i will always be grateful.
when you're no longer here, my days won't make sense. they will never be complete without the sound of your nails on the floor & your excitement when i grab your leash. it'll take me a while to stop looking for you under the covers & see you burrowing out when you hear my keys. i'll miss your excitement when i walk through the door after work - you get mad air when you're happy. & oh your happy face! i'll miss your happy face.
you're exactly what i wanted - a small black dog, but you've become so much more to me than that.
thank you for giving me a chance. thank you for the last year & a half - i hope to have you in my life for at least 10 more.
i love you little buddy.
-mom
 |
| thanksgiving 2012. |
prescription meds. we found out that you can't have pretty much all people food. you're allergic to most meats & grass. you lick your paws religiously because i refuse to wipe them with baby wipes when you come in from outside. you have acid reflux disease and you'll throw up at the drop of a hat. sometimes it seems like you throw up more than a toddler; its often down the back of the couch, on the pillow, in the floor. i dread the day that i wake up with vomit at my feet.
our time together hasn't been perfect. there were many times that i wondered if i made the right decision, especially when a visit to the vet cost more than half of my bi-weekly salary. i may have thought about giving you back for a split second...but thats all it was: a split second. truth be told, i'm completely lost without you.
you've taught me patience; something i've never had before. you've shown me that i'll probably actually be a really good parent someday. you see the best in me, even when i can't see the best in myself. to you i hung the moon & crafted the stars. to you i can do no wrong.
i hope you know that you are the best decision i ever made; the most rewarding $300 i ever spent. i can't imagine my life without you. you are my little buddy.
i'll always tell you that i love you 20 times a day & i'll always say it at the most random times. i will continue to randomly wake you up in the middle of the night for a hug or a few cuddles & you can keep grumbling at me about it. you are always going to lay in my spot when i'm trying to get into bed & i will always ask you to move. you are always cutest first thing in the morning & on saturday afternoons when you lay in the sun.
we gotta stick together, me & you. we're both a little broken, more damaged than most & we understand each other. we're the most unlikely pair - like socks that don't match but go together just the same.
i promise to open the blinds every saturday so you can sunbathe.
i promise to always be there & never give up.
i promise you the best veterinary care i can find.
i'll always come back for you.
you'll always be my howard.
i know that someday you'll have to go see jesus & when that day comes, my heart will shatter. i'll be a mess. i grew up with dogs, but you're the first one i've picked for myself. you took a chance on me & i will always be grateful.
when you're no longer here, my days won't make sense. they will never be complete without the sound of your nails on the floor & your excitement when i grab your leash. it'll take me a while to stop looking for you under the covers & see you burrowing out when you hear my keys. i'll miss your excitement when i walk through the door after work - you get mad air when you're happy. & oh your happy face! i'll miss your happy face.
you're exactly what i wanted - a small black dog, but you've become so much more to me than that.
thank you for giving me a chance. thank you for the last year & a half - i hope to have you in my life for at least 10 more.
i love you little buddy.
-mom
LOVE IT!!!!
ReplyDeletethank you! :)
ReplyDeleteAw <3
ReplyDelete