life lists.

before you even start reading this post know that in order for you to really understand my point, it may require that you take the time to read both of the blog posts i reference.  i'm not one for summarizing.  i'm not very good at it.  so...

a couple of days ago one of my single friends posted this blog post on facebook. the writer talks about people getting married right out of college as a way to hide from the world.  you can figure from the title that it's going to include a to-do list; 23 things to do instead of getting engaged right after college.  now my first thought was:

ah!  this is great!  as a single-almost-thirty-something i'm not really going to fill my time with pinterest, a jar of nutella & making out with strangers but i do get her point.  live life before committing your life to someone else....FOREVER.  take time to find out who you are, what you want & what you need before walking down the aisle.  i should be friends with this person; she gets me.

then today a few of my married friends posted this blog post on facebook.  this serves as a rebuttal to the blog post mentioned above & again its a list of 23 things you can only do when you're married.  the writer talks about marriage & the happiness that comes with it.  finding that forever partner.

they both agree that divorce rates are a problem.  the rest feels like an argument.  maybe i'm wrong, but that's what it feels like.  it feels like the battle of the lifestyles.  i don't like that.  this argument implies that there's something wrong with the opposing side & there's not.

i think both writers are just saying that we need to commit to life 100%.  if you choose single, be super single.  if you choose marriage, be super married.  you can live, explore, tattoo, and nutella single or married.  you really can if that's what you want.

it sounds to me like the first writer is is simply saying:

take time to figure out who you really are before you promise to be someone's person.  i really think that's all she's saying.  no one is saying that you have to eat nutella if you hate it.  just gain experience.  see what the world & life has to offer.

this doesn't mean find the person you want to spend forever with & make them wait 10 years so you can "live".  that's silly.  we all find out who we are & what we're made of in different ways.  if you're ready for marriage at 22, do it & if you're not, don't!

live your life.

so instead of a "instead-of-getting-engaged" or "only-when-you're-married" list i'm proposing a life list.  live your life 100%.  do what makes sense for you.  be who you want to be.  love who you want to love.  it's your life, just know what you want to get out of it.

my LIFE LIST looks like this:

1. get a dog.
2. move away.  really!  get out!  go somewhere that no one knows who you are.
3. make friends.  
4. find out who you are when you're 1000 miles from everyone you love.
5. get involved in the community around you.  join a church.  volunteer.
6. experience life.  take it all in.  do everything & do nothing.  

i live life at 110 mph.  i want to do it all, feel it all, see it all. make your own life list; married or single.  just know what you want to get out of life.

being single is great!  being married is a true blessing!  let's not argue about which is better.  let's live to the best of our ability.